Me, a gay, who constantly calls my bf and his actions gay as a joke:
There is a difference between gay jokes that are offensive and jokes that are not offenssive. If the issue is the staff can't tell the difference just say thats the issue.
Using the word "gay" to describe something that isn't gay in a negative manner can be seen as offensive to some members of the LGBT+ community. This can be seen as derogative and thus, offensive.
I agree with Tyler's point that anything homophobic should not be immediately shunned which includes using the word gay, but instead looked at from a wider view and then determined whether or not what was said was homophobic.
During my time as staff, I have seen members of staff mute incorrectly when dealing with someone talking about things of this manner. It is quite confusing and difficult to determine what is homophobic and what is not - many different individuals may see something that could be offensive to some as not offensive at all, and this is a prime example of it. Calling your boyfriend gay in a joke way when he may not be doing things which are classed as gay may be a funny joke to you could be offensive to others. Emphasis on the could.
This part is in reply to the entire thread:
Staff should not be berated and insulted for accidentally wrongly muting a player. When they correctly mute a player, there will always be another player annoyed and claim that what they did was not against the rules, and vice versa. You should take this into account next time you see staff punish someone.
In this thread I've seen that ex staff members and current staff members understanding this, but players who have never been staff members before not understanding this. Maybe you should try to look at this problem from their point of view instead of being close minded. It is not an easy task being staff.